Shitty Webcomics

Cool Mod: So I’ve gone ahead and drawn Diaz’s proposed dinosaur redesign for him ahead of time. It includes everything that Diaz would probably like to include.

 So he can just go ahead and not bother, now.

So I asked him a question about his kickstarter. Big shock, he’s got nothing to say apart from pointing out one minor math error (caused by his change from 700k for fortnightly updates to once a week updates.

Cool Mod: This is a highly fascinating development. But plain as day, the point of these kickstarter things is to pay necessary expenses and go solely toward producing something. Presumably you’ll make the real money in selling your work after it’s been “KICK STARTED”.

 If only we could impress upon the Kickstarter operators that their service that admittedly isn’t a panhandling service, shouldn’t be allowed to be used as one.

 It almost seems as if Diaz isn’t even expecting to make any money on the printing and selling of his own work. Hence the mondo price tag.

MOD 1:  That certainly seems to be his claim.  He needs the extra money from kickstarter because he won’t get any money selling books?  WAT?

he WANTS A FUCKING FULL TIME FUCKING ASSISTANT FOR FUCKS SAKE AND AN OFFICE. and still wants 2k a week for himself!

MOD 1:  He sure finds reasons for not updating more than once a month.  That and when he does update, it’s not a good comic, it’s only well-colored dross.

He may be telling the truth that he’ll only get $100,000 at the end of this, after taxes and amazon cut and distributors and blah blah.  But so what.  What else is the kickstarter for but to get money to sell comics?  Is he getting money to sell comics, and then not getting any money from the actual comics selling?  That sounds kind of dumb.

PS I think I figured out the real reason why it takes him so long to pump out a comic, it’s because those big piles of dog shit take that much more polishing before he can post them.  It’s like the shit is already reflecting the moon and stars and sky and our souls or whatever the fuck, BUT IT’S STILL NOT GOOD ENOUGH he just has to spend more and more hours polishing and scrubbing those pages with more and more colors, more than could possibly be needed for such middling tripe.  So yeah maybe he won’t get quite as much money out of this HALF A MILLION DOLLAR successful kickstarter.  But maybe if he focused more on writing a good story and less on making it LOOK pretty, he could pump out two pages per month without needing the extra money.

Ultimate response to xkcd and dresden codak.

Although I forgot the name of this actual webcomic. OH YEAH Pictures for Sad Children, thanks.

a very special shittywebcomics event. the penny arcade/dresden codak crossover.

Clearly worth $700,000.

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/156287353/the-tomorrow-girl-dresden-codak-volume-1

This cocksucker is asking for 3/4 of a million dollars just to update twice a month?

Y’know I read Aaron Diaz’ “tutorials” about comic making, and he knows the theory. He knows how to construct a page, and he gave great examples of nonlinear and oddly constructed pages. So how the hell is it that he can’t lay out a page for shit? And he doesn’t just break the 180 rule, he shits all over it.

It’s probably because he’s just a fraud hack.  Aaron Diaz has no right telling anyone how to make comics.  He doesn’t know how to make comics himself.  HE WAS JUST PRETENDING TO KNOW IT’S A TRICK GET AN AXE

Another thing that happens constantly in Desden Codak that constantly sends me into a rage is this. Look at this, there’s no god damn reason for those gutters to not line up, no storytelling or composition reason. It looks sloppy, lazy and amateur

NO DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND HE’S BEING FANCY HE’S A FANCY MAN HE IS ON A HIGHER PLANE OF EXISTENCE THAN ALL US PLEBIANS

More than just bad layout.  But holy shit is the layout bad.

After parachuting out of something that we don’t know, she is given a red background, which makes one side of her face red, and she has blood and falls (and falls with blood and is sad).  Why does the red background make one side of her face red (with blood and sad)?  And who was doing it?  Was it the green alien looking motherfucker?  Did he turn from a green alien into a red angry looking guy who shoots her?

If she’s being shot by some kind of blasty laser attack, why isn’t the artist showing the laser, or where the laser blast is coming from?  Is it because he likes incoherency?  A sycophantic dresden codak fanboy would mistake this for depth, “you have to look at it longer to understand what is going on, so only smart people can get it,” which is a lie, because the first rule of comic art is clarity in storytelling.  If someone can’t tell what’s going on, then you’re just pissing about, or pissing into your own mother’s cunt.

Another major flaw:  In the first row of goofy mismatched sized panels, apparently the big brown robot is shooting eye beams at her, and she reflects them with…….. some kind of circle thing.  But it looks more like she’s absorbing them and then EXPLODING ANYWAY.  When you do this kind of shot, you need to match the angles for the followup.  Instead he reversed them, which is an amateur mistake.  This artist is an amateur at storytelling.

Let this be a lesson, just because you can draw and color and you have a distinct style, it doesn’t mean you know how to tell a story.

 Cool Mod:So how much Ghost in the Shell has he ripped off?

Cool Mod: This is typically how I see Diaz’s characters.

 I would also like to see Kimiko eat a handful of bugs.